The Queen's Buttocks (Small Town Legends A to Z)

This year my A to Z theme is Small Town Legends. I am exploring folklore from villages and small towns around Hungary, bringing you the most entertaining bits. You can plan your next visit around them!

There is no Q in the Hungarian alphabet, therefore there was no town name I could find. But I did find a legend that features a queen. So here we go.

THIS POST CONTAINS AN ADULT JOKE

This story has actually been collected from multiple villages in and around Hungary, including Fúlókércs, Sajórecske, and Ada.

Here it is:

One day, Queen Maria Theresa (Habsburg empress and queen of Hungary 1745-1765) was walking in her palace gardens when a soldier, who did not recognise the lady, passed by behind her and decided to slap her buttocks hard. As the queen turned around, the soldier was horrified to discover he had assaulted Maria Theresa herself. Fearing for his life, he blurted out:

"Your majesty, if your heart is as hard as your buttocks, I am a dead man!"

Amused, the queen looked him over and replied:

"Well, if your **** is as firm as your hand, I might keep you."

(Story referenced in the Catalog of Hungarian Historical Legends)

Note: There are several folk legends about Maria Theresa and her appetite in men. A lot of these were told to make fun of a powerful woman. But there are also many folk legends about Maria Theresa being a just and wise queen who took care of people, and appreciated a clever joke.

(Not that slapping a woman's butt has ever been okay)