H is for King Harald's Saga (Epics from A to Z)

Aand we are back to the Vikings.

Origins
King Harald's Saga is part of the Heimskringla, a collection of sagas telling the history of Norway, written by the Icelander Snorri Sturluson at the end of the 12th century. It is also hands down one of my favorite sagas. If you want to read it, you can get it in its own edition, complete with family trees, great footnotes, and a detailed introduction.

The Hero

The hero of the saga is King Harald Sigurdsson, also known as Harald Hardrada ("firm ruler"), king of Norway between 1046 and 1066 AD. He is known for being the guy who wore Harold Godwinson out with a battle up North so Harold could not stand against William the Conqueror a week later, and hence... well, English history.
Harald is known throughout the saga as tall, blonde, handsome, brave, smart, and dangerously easy to anger. He spends most of his time plundering as a good Viking does, but also runs his kingdom with a firm hand, which ultimately leads him to lose some of his best supporters to rival kings such as his great nemesis, King Svein of Denmark. However, one can't help but admire Harald, his skill in battle, and his creativity when it comes to coming out of hopeless situations with a victory.

The Highlights
My favorite part of the saga is definitely Harald's early years. Between the ages of fifteen and thirty, he lives in exile (he takes part at fifteen in the battle where his half-brother, Saint Olaf, dies in his attempt to force Norway into Christianity). Harald spends his formative years as the commander of the Varangian Guard in Byzantium, being envied by Greek generals and lusted after by the infamous Empress Zoe (and her daughter). He ends up in prison, but breaks out, and manages a daring escape across the chain blockade of the Constantinople harbor.
The saga includes many great battle scenes through Harald's career as king, but I especially like the shorter anecdotes about him getting out of sticky situations. For example, the one where he lands with his fleet on an abandoned island and can't find fresh water to drink. He tells his soldiers to catch a snake and put it near a fire; when the snake dries out and needs water, they tie a yarn to its tail, and follow it as the snake slithers away to a secret source of water.
Apart from Harald, some of the other characters are worth mentioning as well. King Svein is a worthy enemy all through the story, a brave yet reasonable man with great skills for survival. The chapter where he gets away alive after losing a nighttime naval battle to Harald is one of the best parts in the saga.

G is for Gulaim and her Warrior Maidens (Epics from A to Z)

Up front: The only English translation of this epic that I could find was a Kindle ebook, and it seems to be the tail end of the story. It is a pretty read, but very short (especially since the original recorded version is more than 20.000 lines long). I filled in the rest from Adrienne Mayor's new book The Amazons (although she doesn't disclose where she got the story from) and a more detailed summary from G.M.H. Shoolbraid's The Oral Epic of Siberia and Central Asia.

Forty Maidens (Kyrk kyz) is a Karakalpak epic from Central Asia. It was recorded in the early 20th century, and refers back to historical events in the late middle ages. The Karakalpak are a Turkic ethnic group that lives in modern day Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan. Their epic takes places in turbulent times when the Kalmyks invaded their land.

The Hero
Gulaim (Rose Moon), daughter of the ruler of Sarkop and the main hero of the epic, is a maiden who refuses to marry at the age of fifteen, and moves into a citadel instead with a group of like-minded girls to train as warriors. They don't only become a force to reckon with, but also transform the island their fortress is built on into a small paradise. When their homeland is invaded and men (including Gulaim's father and brothers) are killed, the forty maidens take it on themselves to revenge the murders and restore the honor and freedom of their people. Gulaim leads them into battle and ends up defeating the enemy's leader in single combat.

The Highlights
Girl heroes, all the way. That's really all there is to it. That, and pretty epic fighting, with lots of archery.

Girl Power, Guy Power
It almost feels like a cliche to call this one a feminist epic. It is obviously a story with strong and independent female characters that prove their power in battle against men multiple times. Also, on the parallel storyline, Gulaim successfully gets out of several forced marriage attempts, even against her father's will. But the part that I personally like the most is that she does not end up alone - she finds herself a worthy partner in the exiled hero of Khorezm, Aryslan. Aryslan has a sister who is also a warrior maiden, and they defend their people together against the enemy, until Aryslan's exile through intrigue. The hero ends up joining Gulaim's troops and helping her to victory - in exchange, she accompanies him back to his homeland, and they free Khorezm together.
Talk about a power couple.

F is for the Frontier Warriors (Epics from A to Z)

Songs of the Frontier Warriors is a cycle of Albanian oral epic poetry. It is a collection of sung tales that existed in the oral tradition before they were gathered and written down in the 20th century - and in many places the oral tradition still carries on today. The English translation I read was a surprisingly quick and really eloquent read, with beautifully flowing verses and enchanting rhythm.

The Heroes

Most of the songs in the collection revolve around Gjeto Basho Mujo (Mujo for short), his little brother Sokol Halili (Halili for short) and the group of warriors that surrounds them. They are known for their fearsome strength and their prowess in battle, and they spend most of their time raiding the surrounding Christian and Slavic kingdoms, kidnapping wives (although most of the wives are not at all against being kidnapped by the handsome warriors), and saving each other from certain death. The heroes live in Jutbina, a town associated with modern-day Udbina in Croatia.

The Highlights

1. Mujo starting his mornings with coffee before he goes adventuring. Even heroes need coffee sometimes.

2. The story of Gjerg Elez Alia, who is on his death bed with serious wounds for nine years, cared for by his sister. When a monster appears and wants to carry away the sister, the hero gathers his last strength, gets out of bed, bandages up his wounds, and goes to kill the monster.

3. The moment when Halili is gushing about his lady love in great poetic detail, until Mujo unceremoniously puts a hand on his mouth to shut him up.

4. The descriptions of winter in the mountain highlands.

5. The time when Mujo makes friends with three zanas (mountain nymphs) and accepts them as his blood sisters. The little zana saves the day, and the three keep coming back over the course of the epic to save Mujo, give him advice, and even bring him back from the dead.

6. The time Mujo comes back from the dead, but can't break out of his coffin. Oops.

7. The part where Halili watches from the balcony as his friend rides away with his bride, and says "I don't care about the maiden, but how do we get back the horse?..."

8. The song about the hero Arnaut Osmani getting out of prison by pretending to be dead, and while he is being tortured in various ways to make sure he is really dead, he manages to sneak a smile at the king's daughter and get away with it.

E is for Escanor (Epics from A to Z)

Okay, so here is an Arthurian romance. I mostly decided to do Escanor instead of... other things because every once in a while I need to put my desperate cry out to the universe:

SOMEONE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE TRANSLATE THIS INTO ENGLISH!

I have known about the existence of the Romance of Escanor for a couple of long, painful years now. It was written by Girart D'Amiens in graceful medieval French at the end of the 13th century, and published in a German translation in 1886. It is an Arthurian romance that I mostly have read about in various summaries in various sources.

Here is the gist:

Sir Kay falls in love.

If you are as big a fan of Arthurian lore as I am, you probably know Sir Kay, Arthur's foster-brother, Camelot's senechal, and the resident cynic of the Round Table. He is the guy that is not exactly great at fighting (forgetting his sword at his first tournament kicks off the whole sword-in-the-stone thing, after all), but damn he knows how to run a court full of self-involved knights. He is the one behind all the feasts, making sure there is enough food and wine, he is your guy when you need to throw a tournament, and, most of all, he is there to mercilessly rip on any newbie who wants to become a Knight of the Round Table. He does not hold back from voicing his opinions, and he has a mean word for everyone.
He is, for all intents and purposes, the Dr. House of Camelot.
(He even gets a limp at some point)

And in the Romance of Escanor, this guy finds his match.

Apart from the fact that this is the ONLY story we know where Sir Kay is romantically involved with anyone (not counting the time they accused him of having an affair with the Queen just to find out it was Lancelot), it also sounds like a ton of fun from the summaries. Kay is not only awkward when in love, but he also retains his sarcastic tongue, and is in turn matched by Andrivete of Northumbria, the damsel (and queen) of the story. If you have a thing for love-hate banter chick flicks... well, this is probably infinitely better, because well, it is Arthurian.

There is also some additional plot involving Sir Gawain, or whatever.

I swear I would learn French (or better German) just for this. But apart from my own selfish storytelling and Kay-fangirling desires, I feel like English-speaking Arthur fans miss out on a lot without this story.
Someone who has some free time (a couple of months, you know) and a solid grasp of 13th century French:

PLEASE.

PLEASE?

PLEEEEASE.

D is for the Daredevils of Sassoun (Epics from A to Z)

Daredevils of Sassoun is the English title of the national epic of Armenia. As far as titles go, it is pretty badass, and also a genius translation: The heroes of this story are not simply strong and bold, but also slightly cracked in the head - and everybody likes them that way.

Origins
The epic takes place sometime between the 8th and 10th centuries AD. It lived in the oral tradition before it was collected from many different storytellers and written down in the late 19th century. The English translation, written by an Armenian poet, attempts to piece all the existing fragments together into one coherent story, and if you ask me, succeeds with flying colors.
The geographical center of the epic is Sassoun (now in modern day Turkey), the glorious city of the heroes of Armenia. It looks something like this today:

The Heroes
The epic follows four generations of one family of heroes - The twins Sanasar and Balthasar, Sanasar's son Meherr, Meherr's son David, and David's son Little Meherr. All of them are mostly known for their physical strength and prowess, and also for their daredevil attitudes of running headlong into trouble, and trying to solve every problem by repeatedly bashing it with a mace.
But all of this would make for a pretty boring read if it wasn't for the supporting cast of the epic: The wives - all of them warrior women in their own right, like the Chinese matriarch Golden-hair-of-Forty-Braids and her sister the Blue Bandit, or the Persian Khandout Khatoun, who had been married once before David, but she kinda accidentally broke her husband, and also gives David a bloody nose the first time he tries to fondle her out of wedlock. Another delightful character is Uncle Ohan, the Thunder-voiced, who looks after three generations of heroes by being the much needed (and epicly loud) voice of caution and reason.

The Highlights
Too many to count. Some of my favorites:
1. Everyone always drinks pomegranate wine. That's something I could get behind.
2. There is a hero called Batman's Sword in this epic, and he could definitely go for the title of "most accidentally badass name in history." (Batman is a river, by the way)
3. This line: "After his arm was broken in seven places, the prince made a half-hearted attempt to embrace Meherr."
4. The moment when the loving people of Sassoun describe their young defender David thus: "The son of a bitch is crazy."
5. The time when young David works as a goatherd, except has no idea what goats are, so he herds all the wild animals of the mountains back to the city, complaining that they are not very good goats, and they bite. It kind of reminded me of the worst cat in the world.
6. Barav, a widow that used to be Meherr's lover, and takes David under her wings when no one else does. She is smart, sassy, and manages to reign in the boy that cannot control his own strength. Despite her standing as an ex-mistress of the previous king, she is constantly there when important things are happening, and gives good advice, becoming a beloved mother figure for the motherless hero.
7. The narrative high point of the epic is definitely David coming into his own strength and inheritance. It is a scene of celebration, blessings, and him finally finding his place and purpose in the world. It was epic, in all the senses of the word.

C is for the Civakacintamani (Epics from A to Z)

(Because it is a lot more fun to pronounce than El Cid)
(Also, warning: The original text contains explicit adult content. In very, very elaborate language)

Origins
The Civakacintamani is one of the five great Tamil epics, and it is also a religious poem of Jainism. It is known as the Book of Marriages. It was composed in the 10th century by a Jain monk named Tiruttakkatevar. It consists of 3145 verses, of which two-thirds have been meticulously translated and published in English. I read the first volume (verses 1-1165) in full, and the rest in summary.

The Hero
The hero of the epic is called Civakan; he is the son of King Caccantan who is so lost in the pleasures of loving his beautiful wife that he neglects his royal duties, and is killed by a traitor minister who takes over the kingdom. The pregnant queen escapes in a flying peacock machine (yes you read that right) and gives birth to Civakan on a burial ground. The prince is found and raised by a wealthy man who has no children of his own, and finds out about his origins later.
There is one thing you need to know about Civakan: Women love him. As in, they throw themselves at him. As in, they wail when he walks by. As in, their boobs literally pop out of their blouses when they see him. Yeah. He's popular. So much so that a lot of the headings in the translation read as "Women," "Other Women," "Still More Women," and, finally, "All the Women."
(He's also smart and strong and all of those other things)
The story of the epic pretty much sums up like this: Civakan travels the realm planning his vengeance against the traitor-king, does heroic things, fights heroic fights, and marries a lot of women. Eight, to be precise. After he gets all of them pregnant, he renounces the world, accepts the Jain teachings, and marries himself to omniscience.

The Highlights
Some of this epic is very steamy... Well, all right. A lot of it is very steamy (good to read epics from cultures where pleasure was not something to be ashamed of). The descriptions are long, elaborate, luxurious, and full of fruit and flower metaphors. The best one, however, goes like this:
The queen was like a ripened fruit for desire. 
The king was like a beautiful winged bat.
...
Hello, ladies.

Apart from the glorious language, the epic has some other great things as well. For example, the aforementioned flying mechanical peacock that is made specifically for the queen, and she practices flying it for several verses before it becomes her escape vehicle.
Also great is the scene where King Caccantan, to let his pregnant wife fly away, puts up an epic fight against the traitor and his army, and holds the upper hand until his last breath. He goes down with a fight for the ages. The closing lines of the verse are:
"... manly Caccantan sank down
so the desirable breasts of the Goddess
of the Earth pressed against him and
he waned away like the sinking sun."

There is also a brief mention of female sword troops protecting a princess. But I think they had me at "beautiful winged bat."

B is for Bosi and Herraud (Epics from A to Z)

Warning: The original text of this saga includes graphic sexual content.
(Try not to trip over yourself)

Origins
The Saga of Bosi and Herraud is a Norse legendary saga that mainly takes place in Götaland (modern day southern Sweden) and was written sometime before 1350 AD. It ties into other sagas as well - for example, the story of Ragnar Lothbrok, recently known as this guy from the History Channel:

The Heroes
The central bromance to the story is between Herraud, the heir to the throne with minor daddy issues (since his bastard brother gets all of the affections of King Hring); and Bosi, the daredevil love child of a former Viking raider and a crippled shield-maiden (yup). These two hit it off like a house on fire, and when Bosi kills and maims a couple of people in a friendly ball game (happens between friends) and gets himself exiled, Herraud decides to go with him.
After five years of leisurely plunder the foster-brothers return home, and Bosi does his buddy a favor by killing the (agreeably annoying) bastard brother. At first the king wants to have both of them executed, but he can't bring himself to give the death order of his own heir, so he takes a page from fairy tales and decides to give them an impossible task instead, sending them off to bring him a vulture's egg inscribed with golden letters.
Adventures ensue.

The Highlights
The saga features two epic battles:
1. Bosi and Herraud versus Giant Vulture Monster and Troll Priestess (In which there is a generous amount of stabbing, slipping on blood, losing body parts and rolling around on the floor)
2. Bosi and Herraud versus People Whose Daughter/Sister They Had Kidnapped Along The Way (In which there is a sea battle where people transform at random into dragons, boars, and wolfhounds, and jump from ship to ship. Also, Herraud gets his nipples torn off. Ick.)

The Absolute Undisputed Best Moment of the Saga,
however, is the afterword: Once every battle is won and the adventures are over, Herraud and Bosi both become kings and start their own families. Herraud has a little daughter, Thora (who will later become the first wife of Ragnar, sadly not mentioned in the TV show). The magical vulture egg decides to hatch and produces a small, gold-colored baby dragon. The king gives the baby dragon to Thora as a teething toy.
Think about it.
A princess. Teething. On a dragon.
Viking metal.